Have You Ever Eaten Alone Outside?

Eating alone sounds like a trend recently due to our hectic and uncertain schedule/location. Nonetheless, some people just can't eat alone when they are in the public. 

The reasons to eat alone: 

1. Save time. You don't have to fix your schedule for eating and think of where to eat. Most of the time you will get the answer from others - "I am ok with anything", then you suggest "McD", you will get the answer - "ha? McD ah? Got other choices?" See? You get what I mean? 

2. Blank out moment. Linked to point #1, you are too lazy to even socialize with people about the What and Where to eat questions, why don't just leave yourself alone during that hour? Some people just do not want to be disturbed during that golden hour because it's simply too stressful to even talk, sometimes. 

3. Flexibility. You can eat whatever, whenever, wherever, however you want. You can even take a nap in the car park before/after your meal. 

WHY not to eat alone then? 

1. Fear of loneliness. You tend to think that people would pity/stare at you because you have no friends or whatnot. You know what? It's partially true. Just happened that my lunch mate told me when we were having lunch "That guy so pity, he is eating alone." I was like, "geez, what's wrong with eating alone, you don't really need others to feed you isn't it?" We care too much on what others think about us, when those people don't really matter at all. It's actually one kind of insecurity/inferiority, where you are not confident enough to stand on your own feet when you are alone. 

2. You don't know where to put your eyes on. Thanks to smartphone, you're physically eating alone but not virtually. Some people will try to overcome the fear of loneliness by keep swiping their screens. It's good actually, if you are eating alone, and spend some times during lunch to read on some news or watch some clips. 

3. You need to talk. Some people need to talk and talk and talk when they are eating. Therefore it's a big no no for them to eat alone outside. They are most likely to feel too sad and skip their lunch, then start calling friends from office *roll my eyes*. 

4. Habit. I have friends who would literally skip their meals if they can't find a lunch mate. Again, how on earth eating is so directly related to companionship? Don't we go to the loo, shower, sleeping, all alone too? They literally lose their appetite when they are alone. 

Personal experience: 

There is NOTHING wrong to eat alone. It's a good time to learn on solitude. I am not asking you to be foreveralone. Rather, it's a mental training for you to enjoy communicating with yourself. It's called self-reflection (I will talk more on self-reflection next time). It's not literally end of the day. You can actually still think of what to do next in the afternoon to make your working life easier. 

I enjoy eating alone in about 60% of my time. Waiting and deciding on budget/where/what to eat is simply exhausting for me when I have a long day to go. Eating alone makes me happier to stay put for the afternoon working hours. Oh ya, I get to choose what I want to eat, and change the plan 2 minutes before i reach my destination too. 

I also need some privacy of myself to text some people, call up my mum or read on something to refresh my mind instead of gossiping/whining about negative stuffs (don't you realize you gossip most of the time during lunch? It's because you have nothing else to talk about when you keep eating with the same people!). 

Therefore, I would like to share with you HOW to ease the uncomfortable feelings to eat alone. 

1. Be firm. Don't be afraid on other's stares. Most of the time, people don't really care, unless they know you. Else, nobody really gives a damn who are you eating with. 

2. Read. Use your phone to read. Or bring a magazine/book which doesn't fold itself, as screen tends to go blackout if you don't touch it. By doing this, you will feel more comfortable as your eyes and attention are occupied with something meaningful. 

3. Be grateful. You will have the tendency to devour your food quicker than usual because you want to leave the eating place asap since you are solo. What I usually do is, when the food arrives, I take 10 seconds to look at it and thank God, that I am given food, can still afford to dine in a comfortable environment. Trust me, it helps to slow down your swallowing speed because eating too fast isn't good for digestion. 

For those who read this and don't usually eat alone. Try to practice what I suggested above, I am not saying it's better to eat alone, but you can learn to eat alone and be confident about it. :) 

So, have you tried eating alone and continued doing it? :) 

Share this post if you like this. Thanks! 

Scott

Have You Ever Won An Argument?

So you think you've won an argument against someone (or ANYONE, for some real hardcore individuals). The most you will get is victory of your egoism. Do you see from the other side of what have you really lose then?

1. You lose your health. Don't you realize every time when you argue, you will feel the heat up to your head? and also the palpitation (probably the worries of running out of ideas to argue or the fear to lose an argument). It's because when you argue, you tend to haste your speech, hence haste your brain to function faster, and that's when you need your blood to flow in more oxygen to your brain. That's the reason why your face is red, your heart rate is racing and blood pleasure is sky-rocketing! Is that worth it to win an argument over your health? Personally I definitely don't like the doctors to win some consultation fees from this. 

2. You lose your mind. Unless the other person is really some insignificant others, or else winning an argument for the sake of winning, you are just feeding your own egoism. Soon you will regret what you have said that leads to the damage of the ones you actually love. 

3. You lose your character. We, as civilized human beings, are expected to be polite, kind, courteous in our words. When you argue with someone, you slip a lot of words out of your tongue without checking with your brain. The audiences who have the pleasure to witness your standing-ovationable quarrel would applaud for your free entertainment. Nonetheless, trust me, in their mind, they don't even want to make an eye contact with you. As a 2-second stare might be accused as public flirtation or sexual assault just because they just see some eye bogey at the corner of your eyes. Oh well, nobody is ever gonna tell you that your nostril hairs are soon sticking into your mouth if you are always in that defensive mode. 

4. You lose your friendships/relationships. Every argument which is not constructive (throwback to all the ancient histories into your current argument is rather low and truly emotionally) will usually lead to damaging a relationship like a broken vase. You might argue that it's to support what is happening now, but does that really matter? When you have made your points clear more than 3 times before, it's time to stop and tell yourself, take it (to accept it in order to continue love him/her) or leave it (to slowly stay away from this friend/family member/partner). This is simply because if someone doesn't change, which simply means he doesn't want to. No hurt feeling, really.

Summary of above: 

You argue > you blood pressure is going up > your words hurt people > people don't respect you > you lose your relationships > you are forever alone > end of story. 

Personal Reflection: 

Everyone has experienced this, including the very flawed me. I tried to win all the arguments in some stages of my life (and I still do sometimes). But, I have tremendously reduced my chances to get into argument with anyone, as the 4 points above have proven themselves as facts. Seek to understand, then to be understood, that makes up one of my motto in life. 

Personal Advice: 

Agree to disagree. People have different opinions, as long as that doesn't involve you as the output of the decision or his actions, you need to learn how to keep some words to yourself, really. Let people prove their points, before you discuss with them by facts, not emotions. 

So, share with me how do you cope with arguable situations? I shall come out with another post on "How to Cope with External Conflicts" if you think I should! 

Share this post/blog if you like this article. Thanks!

Scott